The Final Episode
by Samuel Keller
Summary: Having successfully driven Richtofen from the MDT, the four zombie slayers camp out with the United States Army located in Iraq. But Richtofen's latest allegiances stand between them and him. Will they be able to stop his reign of terror?
1. Chapter 1: Sitrep

**So, one day before Halloween, and I publish a chapter. No problems there I guess.**

Dempsey strode in front of the assembly of soldiers, his new uniform still crisp. He felt the soap still on his skin, the lack of oil in his hair. Not only was he clean, he felt alive. More so then he had in the last, well, fuck how could he know? Time travel really wrecked your mind, till days and years seemed like the same damn thing.

"So, you are the company that I am here to investigate today?" he asked mostly to himself. He said it loud and clear to make his point clear that he meant serious business.

"Well you all look like shit. I am being brutally honest here. You smell like an open latrine and you look like 3-month-old road kill. Not to mention you all look like you eat less than a Hollywood actress. But that last one is not your fault. Anyway, I apparently have to whip you sorry sack of Ping-Pong balls into shape .Now, let me explain your enemy."

He stopped and opened the small box next to his feet. He pulled out a large round sphere and lifted it. It was a human head, one that had obviously been shot off by a gunshot wound.

"This, my friends, is a Jihadist. Now this sorry guy is kinda feeling down on his luck at the moment. All sorts of lightheaded. But enough about him. Time to explain what he can teach us. Now, even though he was shot to death only three days ago, he still has the undying passion to fuck us all up. Not that I know at the moment. He's kinda dead, as you can see. But he spoke of such hatred for the US and all of us in it, that I felt obliged to yell in his face for a while and tear off his various appendages."

He lifted up the Jihadist's arm just to indicate his point.

"Now, where does this lead to? Well simply this. These bastards are tough, they are mean, and they sure as hell go down with a fight. You break their arm, they stab you with the ends of the bone. You shoot em in the leg, they rip it off and beat you with it. So, some advice: Aim for the fucking head. They don't get back up if you do."

He dropped the head. "Now, for the second enemy."

He lifted up another head from the box. This one was far more rotten and mangled then the other. And it smelled worse.

"Now this, this is where shit gets ugly. This right here is a zombie. Put simply, the most hard-ass, tough-as-shit, fuck-you-until-your-asshole-hurts kinda enemy. They grow stronger with time, eventually resurrect when you kill them, and not to mention, eat your fucking face like a plate of nachos that night you and your buddies went out on a strip club and that bitch gyrated you so much your junk hurt in the morning. You know, that night? Yeah, you know what I'm talking about."

He stopped and dropped the head. "Now, here's a piece of advice. You may recognize this one: Aim for the motherfucking head. Yeah, it worked in the movies, it'll work here. For the moment. The bastard who made these things, he's unpredictable. Like me."

To demonstrate this, he loaded an entire clip into the nearest sandbag. The sergeant three inches from it didn't even flinch.

"See, unpredictable. Now just imagine that, except with zombies and shit, and I'm not shooting them, I'm kinda controlling them and shit. Now, it doesn't make sense now, mainly because your lack of IQ points couldn't understand my expressions. I know that. I come from an older time then you. So I'll have Colonel Davis here explain."

He held the floor open for the colonel, who took it gladly.

"Now listen up you maggot-cock melons! This here asshole to my left will be your personal counselor for the next few days. I expect he'll treat you like the dirt-dicks you are. But believe me, he's twice as badass as I am. Now I know that's hard to understand, a guy like me, being less badass then anyone. But it's true. So listen up or I will shove your dick up your ass. Now I know that's fairly difficult to understand, since most of your cocks probably don't go past your balls, but who cares? It's a damn expression."

Dempsey couldn't help but smile. This Colonel and him would become good friends by the end of this.

* * *

"Then I told him: 'I don't care what you serve, as long as you serve it dirty.'"

Roger burst into laughter and slapped the table. "Holy crap did you really say that?"

"Hell yeah! That son of a bitch clearly saw I wanted a DIRTY bourbon for the lady, and what does he do? He gives her a fucking gin. A GIN! When I asked for bourbon! And he gave me a whiskey. Fucking dumbass."

"Well he sounds like an idiot."

"You understate my comrade."

They clacked glasses together and took another gulp. Roger sipped beer, Nikolai sipped vodka.

Ever since they got to the Army base, they all decided to make friends. However, after several days of unsuccessful conversations, they decided to do it the indirect way. Acting completely badass and let them come to you. So far it was working wonders with Takeo and Dempsey. Nikolai mainly stuck with Roger or Gersch, they being the only other people besides his original mates he even talked to.

"So my comrade. How is Sidney?"

"In or out of bed?"

"Is there a difference?"

They both laughed and Roger continued. "Well, she's cool. Not to mention hot."

"Ok, now you're just going lyrical."

They laughed again.

"Ah, I hate that song so much."

"Agreed comrade."

"More of a country cat then a pop shit."

"I need no music. Just vodka and women."

"I'd agree, but since Sidney likes country too, I decided to like it as well. It's not so hard either. I actually kinda like it."

"Well, God bless your musically illiterate self."

"Hey, it ain't like I listen to rap."

"Well, you got me there. That shit is truly awful. How the fuck can you understand it?"

"Eh, I don't know. Eminem isn't that bad."

"Who's he?"

"Rapper. White."

"They make those now?"

"Yep."

"Mary mother of Rasputin."

"Yeah. My thoughts exactly."

Nikolai raised the bottle. "To bold new shit."

"And damn good ideas."

They clacked glass together and took another gulp.

* * *

"You know, when you said hang out, I didn't expect this."

Sam popped out a mag from her M4 and slammed in another. "So? Target practice is a perfectly legitimate way to bond."

Sidney shrugged and aimed down the sights of her .44 Magnum.

A few of the males around the firing range were giving them odd looks, but a few snarls from them both quickly shifted their gazes.

"So, how's Gersch doing?" asked the German nailing a target in its sandbag head.

"He's doing fine. Still trying to get his freaking black-hole do-hickey thing working. So far the only thing he's done is waste a lot of metal."

"Figured. That thing is like a freaking dimensional rift. Or something like that."

The American looked at her. "How do you..?"

"Remember the MDT? You learn a lot of shit from that. Gersch's device is a tear in the dimensional void."

"I hope you realize you're speaking freaking Dutch to me. I only got a standard diploma."

"But didn't you get a bachelor?"

"Yeah. In art."

"Ah, one of those useless skills."

"Not really."

Sam gave her a dead-pan look. "Name one place in this world as it is that would benefit from a bachelor of the arts."

Sidney sighed. "Fine. I guess you're right."

"Even in the old world it wouldn't get you far."

"Indeed. I planned to get something useful, but look what happened."

"Yeah. Fucking zombies. Then nukes. Now nuclear fucking zombies. Welcome to the third millennium."

The German reloaded for her fifth time that afternoon. "You see Takeo recently?"

"Yeah. Him and Bryan are really starting to become friends."

"Thought they would. Though I was surprised Roger and Nikolai got along so well."

"Yeah. Who thought that could work?"

"Jump pump some drinks into Nikolai, and either he becomes a dick or your best friend. I'd know."

**Yeah Sam, you would know.**


	2. Chapter 2: Why I lost my license

**Now time to visit everyone's favorite doctor! (No, I mean Richtofen)**

Richtofen calmly cleaned his nails, showing a surgical precision most never put into it. He still wore the black robe he had really begun to enjoy, but now had a golden necklace around his throat. It was emblazoned with the crest of the prince, the owner of the palace.

"Some palace" he muttered. "Blooming bastard just valked in and took it. I can barely stand his voice let alone his company."

He brushed another lock of hair from his face and kept working. His hands were completely clean, mainly because he had them radiate enough heat to bake a cake. He enjoyed this greatly. Now he didn't need to spend 2 fucking minutes washing his hands before his meals.

"Funny. All it took vas a little showing of my power for zhem to believe me" he muttered removing a troublesome chunk of dirt from his index finger. He stopped and put the small knife down. That would have to do.

He stood up and brushed himself off. No matter what he did, there was still dust in the air. Lots of it.

"Bloody Middle East" he grunted coughing. "I freaking hate this region."

He opened the door out of his chambers. "But I guess the women are worth it."

It was true. Lining the halls were the prince's female bodyguards, all of which were incredibly attractive. If Richtofen didn't have the god-like aura he usually maintained, he didn't doubt they could kill him easily.

He gave a bow to them and kept walking. Normally such behavior would be frowned upon in an Islamic region, but religion had been quickly abandoned for military strategies.

"Funny, all it took was a little nuclear warfare" he muttered. He chuckled to himself. He was glad they didn't know who he truly was. They just saw his fancy magic and let him have his way.

He entered the throne room and gave a bow to the prince. In truth, the prince should've bowed to him, but Richtofen was anything but impatient. He would play this little game for all it was worth.

The prince stood and flashed a smile. He was expecting him. _"Good morning Edward. Did you sleep well?"_

The doctor nodded. _"Yes. Thank you for the company I had. But I fear I may have, well, let's just say they might be sneaking into my chambers for a second round."_

The prince laughed. _"No problem then. I shall permit them to do so. Even if they want to go through the window. But, down to business I suppose."_

He held up a small chunk of Ununpentium. It was sealed in a large clear bag and placed in a glass box. _"My men found this chunk of radioactive matter alongside an entire meteor grouping of them. Around this, well, everything was different."_

Richtofen smiled. _"That is Element 115 my friend. And it is what gives me power." _He stopped. _"Let me show you."_

He held up a hand and the box flew into it. The prince was astonished, but quickly recovered to wait his presentation.

The German opened the box and removed the bag. He discarded the plastic and held the chunk of rock in his hand. He sighed and closed his eyes.

The rock glowed twice as bright as before and began to shake. Richtofen slammed his other hand on top and clenched his fists.

He began to shudder, as if his body was resisting the radioactivity. He snarled and clenched even tighter. The ends of the stone began to cut into his skin and a few drops of blood hit the floor.

He stopped and dropped the stone. Or, what was left. It was now just a chunk or rock, no marks or anything. There were indentations were his fingers held though.

Richtofen gave a smile to the eyeing prince. _"I told you it gave me power. And only me. It will only fry you or your men."_

The prince sat on the throne and began to think. _"Can we perhaps try it in small doses?"_

"_No. It is completely lethal to any who haven't had the required surgery. Such as me. Or my former comrades."_

"_The ones who betrayed you?"_

"_Yes."_

The prince nodded. _"If I may ask, do you happen to be able to perform this surgery required?"_

"_No. Unfortunately. I would love some super soldiers in your ranks, since that also means they're in my ranks, but it is very complex. Unless…"_

The prince raised his head. _"Unless what?"_

"_I could try out my newest method of treatment. Involves near microscopic doses of Ununpentium into the various body systems. But the small problem is, well, I never tested it."_

"_Doesn't matter. I will give you one hundred subjects."_

"_Great. I will begin immediately."_

The doctor took a bow and rubbed his hands together eagerly. "Time to practice medicine" he muttered to himself in German.

**Yes, the doc is truly back.**


	3. Chapter 3: Artistic ability

**So, aren't I missing a few people?**

Bryan took another breath, calming his already jacked nerves. He was sweating from not just heat, but stress.

Takeo was the exterior of calm, but the heart of a hurricane. He grasped the small wooden object and moved it slightly forward.

The veteran smiled and slid his bishop a few spaces. "Check."

The samurai calmly replaced the bishop with his rook. "Reverse checkmate."

The American stared at the board. "Bullshit."

"Check it please."

Bryan checked it. Then sighed. "Damn it."

They shook hands.

"That was a helluva match" admitted Bryan.

"I agree. You are very capable in the art of war."

"The only kinda art I like to do."

Takeo placed the pieces back in their boxes and handed the veteran a cup of steaming tea. "Green tea I believe."

The American accepted it gratefully and sipped it. "Thank you."

The door into the cabin opened and a bumbling scientist appeared.

"H-h-hello gentlemen-n-n-n" said Gersch jittering very dramatically.

Takeo glanced at him slightly concerned. "Are you okay?"

"I-I-I a-am okay-y. My-y last t-t-test a-accident-tally a-a-affected-d my n-nervous s-system-m. It s-s-should f-fade with-th t-time."

He settled in a chair next to them and took one of the cups of tea. He sipped it, bringing it shaking to his mouth.

A few moments later he had sufficiently calmed enough to communicate. "Oh, I j-just remembered! I c-came here to tell you-u that there's something y-you need to see."

"Really?" responded Bryan. "What is it?"

Gersch stood, the feeling almost appearing alien to him. "C-come on."

They walked out of the temporary cabin and stepped into the dirt street. Though street was a misconception. It was more of just a piece of land that a bunch of people walked on. Though since it was compact dirt now instead of sand it technically qualified as a road.

Gersch led them out into the sand and pointed into the distance.

Takeo squinted and was able to make out a battalion of soldiers marching. At the front was an American who he recognized. Over the sound of the swirling mist, he could interpret something. It sounded like a song.

"Second verse!"

"SECOND VERSE!"

"Same as the first!"

"SAME AS THE FIRST!"

"But a little bit worse!"

"BUT A LITTLE BIT WORSE!"

"You can't ride my little red wagon!"

"YOU CAN'T RIDE MY LITTLE RED WAGON!"

"The left wheel's broke and the axle's draggin!"

"THE LEFT WHEEL'S BROKE AND THE AXLE'S DRAGGIN!"

Bryan laughed as he heard this. "I taught him that one! My old sergeant used to sing that when we marched. Obviously he likes it."

The company stopped, with Dempsey standing tallest among them. "Take a break mates. Five minutes, then we continue."

The Marine headed over to where his comrades were watching. He downed two gulps of water and sighed. "So, how y'all doing?"

"Fine, though Gersch has a mild case of the jitters" answered Bryan.

"Let me guess. You tried to remake your device?"

The Russian cosmonaut nodded. "D-damn thing nearly took off my leg this-s time."

"Well, obviously you're still standing, so good. How many times have you tried to build that thing? Forty?"

"Fifty s-seven" admitted Gersch slightly embarrassed.

"Yeah. I think its dead mate."

"It's w-worth a try."

Dempsey shrugged and bit into a small granola bar. "Well don't waste too much metal. I'm training these guys to use shields. Legit metal shields strapped to one arm. It's actually quite badass. But ghetto as a bitch."

Takeo nodded. "Any weapon that wins a war is an honorable weapon. Why do you think my katana is so precious to me?"

"You never actually explained that. Why is it?"

"Well, there was this princess you see…"

"Oh God this is gonna take forever."

"Not really American. She was destined to marry a certain lord whom my family had certain disputes with. So I decided to end those disputes and give the princess a true lover. I challenged him to a swordfight to the death. It took me a full half hour to finish him off. I gave him his final rites then beheaded him."

"Nice story bro. I legitimately ask for an opportunity to hear the story again."

"Don't you have men do take care of American?"

"Oh right! Thanks for reminding me Tak."

He turned to his men, who stood in formation behind him. "We got one full quarter to finish. Let's haul ass! Jenkins, begin the song!"

They marched into the distance, accompanied with each other and an awesome tune.

"I really think we have a chance if Dempsey leads the battalion" stated Bryan.

"I-I share your confidence" replied Gersch.

"I never doubted the American, and I won't start" said Takeo completely confident.

"You sound like you're good friends" responded the veteran.

"We are not friends. We are brothers, forged through combat. And though I hate to admit it, Nikolai and Samantha have become so as well."

"I understand why you hate mentioning Nikolai, but why Sam?"

"She is like Richtofen. I find it hard to trust her or her sanity. It only took me a little to see that she had the same goals in mind. But I am still not letting her near my home when this is over."

Gersch laughed. "I a-agree. I hope to maybe w-work with you my friend. Y-you are very wise and could h-help me help the world."

"It would be an honor, cosmonaut brother."

**Now please excuse the excessive dialogue. I just wanted to get a backdrop on with all the new people I added. You know, get a proper introduction into the story. Anyway toodles!**


	4. Chapter 4: Planning

**So, 9 days. I have 9 days. Challenge accepted.**

Colonel Davis wiped his brow and bent over the plans on the table before him. His eyes were rimmed with black and his breath was rank with the smell of caffeine.

"Ugh, it's college all over again" he muttered rifling through his hair. He noted how greasy it was and swore.

"I need a threesome. Doesn't matter if it's two girls, or one girl and a guy. I just need something to wake me up. Well with that logic I could've used one about ten years ago."

He turned to his newest munitions expert. "If I can find a chick, will you join me in this proposed sexual scenario?"

Dempsey smiled. "Hell yeah. I'll even bring Sidney along if I can. We'll have a good old Pacific campaign in a matter of three hours."

Davis laughed. "Good. Now, back to the less important shit. Saving the known world."

He pointed to the map. "This is a sketch of that town the warlord has commandeered. Or less politely, stole from under their fucking noses."

"And Richtofen is there" muttered the Marine.

"Sadly, yes. That's the main reason I brought you here. What can we expect?"

Dempsey sighed. "I don't know. That fucker is the most unpredictable asshole I have ever met. One minute he's your best friend, the next he's choking the shit out of your throat."

"I assume he has befriended the warlord" stated Takeo. He was the tactical leader as of three days ago. "He is likely running low on energy from the MDT, so he will reserve as much as he can."

"And since I don't understand a damn thing about that, I'll just nod and pretend I know what you mean."

"You don't have to. Just know that he's insanely powerful, even though he's separated from his power source. He can fire blasts of radiation capable of boiling all of the water in a human body instantly."

"Holy shit that sounds badass."

"I would think so as well Colonel, if it was on our side, and not on Ricthofen's."

"Point taken Samurai Jack. Wait, no, he was a white guy, not Asian. Sorry mate."

"No offense taken. He was, in the words of Americans, a badass."

"Well I still ain't calling ya that, so don't expect me to. Now Tank, how many units we got?"

"We have seventy-five good men and women ready to fight. Not to mention me, Tak, Nik, Sam, Roger, Sid, Bryan, and Gersch" answered the Marine

"Yes, our special unit. We know you're the only people who could actually defeat him. Now, we need to divide these guys in groups of five to cover maximum ground. That's fifteen teams. You have any recommendations for squad leaders?"

"Yes Colonel. The list is on your desk."

Davis grabbed the sheet and scanned through. "Hmm, nice choices. Especially Ramirez and Frost."

"They'll do well I'm sure. But we still have one major problem."

He raised a photograph. It was a snapshot from a sniper cam about two days ago. It was a photograph of a field of zombies.

"Zombies. I think we maybe walking into a death trap colonel."

"I know. I hate to admit it, but this is a suicide mission. But I can't allow that German fucker to hurt anyone else. We kill him now, even if it kills us."

Takeo nodded. "Any day is a good day to die."

Davis looked at both of them. "Assemble the troops. We ride at dawn. Kill everything."

**Little short, but still good.**


	5. Chapter 5: True story

**So yeah, another update. BS bold means growl. So yeah. Not the easter egg by the way.**

Richtofen stood on top of the balcony, overlooking the town. His hair was whipping past him in the wind along with his robe. It was fairly dramatic.

"_They are coming"_ he stated to the man beside him.

"_How do you know?" _asked the prince.

The doctor sniffed the air. _"I smell them. It's in the air, if you care to notice."_

The prince did the same. _"Whatever."_

He turned to his general. _"Alert the troops. Seal the gates."_

Richtofen smiled. _"I will enjoy this immensely."_

The sun flared into his eyes and he calmly blocked it. _"Smart. Coming in from the blind side. Hope your men have sunglasses."_

He heard something hit the northern wall and he turned. A large hole had recently been made in it, a very new one.

Then a Jeep filled the space and crashed into the courtyard.

"Beep beep motherfucker!" yelled his least favorite American.

* * *

"Little much?" asked Dempsey turning to his comrade.

"No. It suits you American" stated Nikolai hefting a large MK-46.

The driver spun the car and veered it into an open storefront.

"Get out now!" he ordered jumping from the vehicle.

Dempsey and Nikolai leaped out and ran inside the store. Only a moment before an RPG slammed into it.

"Holy shit!" cried the Marine. "Hope the others can get to us."

Just to prove his point, the door behind him was smashed down and Takeo filled the doorway. "Come on."

They entered the other room and saw that Sam was already there as well. She was holding her M4 and a large satchel on her back. "Can we go? We've been waiting for far too long."

"I see you snuck in unnoticed" noted Dempsey.

"Not too bad. Takeo resembled an Arab enough with a beard, and they don't check under the cover for me."

"Fine. Let's go to the rendezvous point."

They exited the building and ran into the alley. A mounted turret ahead of them activated and they sank into cover.

"Sam! Charge!" yelled Dempsey.

She tossed a charge and he caught it easily. Pushing a few buttons he tossed it as hard as he could.

The charge ricocheted into the machine gun hole and blasted it even wider. The Marine popped his head from cover to check if it was dead.

"Let's go!"

They entered a large condo complex and took the stairs. Reaching the third floor they entered the second door on the left side.

"Good. You're here" stated the Marine observing the contents of the room.

The other four members of the team were there, each holding their own weapons. Roger looked up at him, a large shotgun in his hand. "We made it at the same time you did. We're ready to go."

Dempsey nodded. "Do you all have the pistol?"

They nodded. They had already been informed why they had to carry a Colt M1911.

"Let's get going."

They exited the building and noticed the rest of the company had arrived. All around the building were soldiers holding the line. One such soldier sprinted towards them and looked at them.

"Sergeant James Ramirez sir! I have been ordered to escort you all to the palace! I need you to move STAT!"

"Roger that Sergeant" stated Dempsey. "Let's collect some heads."

Ramirez motioned to his men. "Team! Formation 6! These guys need support!"

Four other men got out from behind cover and began to take formation.

"We move on route 9. Now!"

They sprinted into a side street and began to make their way to their destination.

A sniper round ricochet an inch from Ramirez's head and he yelled, "Get to cover!"

Then a large explosion of gore accompanied where the shot had come from.

"Derek Westbrook, reporting" said a voice over the mic.

Ramirez laughed. "Jesus Frost, let me know when you're about to show up."

"Roger that."

Ramirez resumed his sprint. "Don't mind Frost. Ever since he got a sniper unit he's been going all gung-ho on us."

"It's about time someone did besides Davis!" yelled Dempsey. "Keep working that trigger Frost!"

Bryan and Roger laughed, while the others gave a grin. Even during a dangerous situation the Marine still managed to remain hilarious.

They reached another courtyard and came face-to-face with the palace. It was a grand piece of Arabian architecture, very regal looking.

"I hope you're reading Doctor!" yelled Roger. "I'm gonna wipe my boots in your damn face!"

* * *

"So uncivilized" muttered Richtofen. He threw off his robe, revealing his Nazi SS uniform. "I believe it iz time gentlemen."

From the shadows around him appeared three men. All of the carried various isntruments of different sizes.

The prince was astonished. _"What the hell is this? Where did those assholes come from?"_

"_Sorry m'lord" _stated Richtofen grabbing him by the neck. _"It's time your rule ended."_

The prince literally boiled beneath his touch and melted onto the floor.

"Poor liquid bastard" stated the doctor. "Let us begin."

* * *

Dempsey ran up to the front door and smashed into it. It resisted, so he tried pulling it. No go.

"Well fuck. He sealed it."

Sidney drew a grenade launcher and aimed it at the door before Sam stopped her.

"If he sealed it, it's sealed. He has to let us in. His narcissism demands it. Just wait a little."

They took up defensive positions around the door and Ramirez yelled, "Frost! We need sniper cover!"

"Already on ya" spoke the newly appointed captain. "Waiting for things to show up."

From the various buildings burst Jihadists, but they didn't look like themselves. Their eyes were glowing blue and their skin was beginning to fall off.

"Well, he finally revealed his trump card" muttered Takeo raising his FAL.

They began to pick off the crowds, as efficiently or inefficiently as they pleased.

"Old school motherfucker!" yelled Bryan.

"Straight from Memphis bitch!" declared Roger.

"How 'bout them Red Sox cock-lick?" taunted Sidney.

"I have two PhD's. One in astrophysics, the other in zombie killing!" exclaimed Gersch.

Dempsey turned to Nikolai. "Why didn't we bring these guys along before?"

Nikolai shrugged. "They're pretty good. At massacring and spouting one-liners. I can get used to this."

They heard a mike activate and a familiar voice say, "Now ladies and murderers, I believe we have a special request from our lead guitarist. In his words: This has actually happened to me."

Takeo snickered. "It appears Nero has prepared his violin."

The singer prepped himself and the guitarists began a rapid melody. Unlike the previous song they did, it was far smoother and more synchronized. The drummer joined in and they began an epic cycle to the intro.

Then the singer yelled:

**I ejaculate fire!**

**A venomous fluid, cantankerous druid!**

**It kills when I breed, with my death seed.**

**CHECKMATE!**

**The world dies when I procreate!**

**A bloody mess, bubbles with heat!**

**Fear the splattering acidic de-mattering **

**IT BURNS! I'm fried to my loins!**

**Testicular propane, TANKS EXPLODING!**

Dempsey laughed. "Really? Dethklok? You guys have some serious balls."

He then resumed shooting undead maggots.

The guitarists kept up the solo until the next verse began.

**I perpetuate bile!**

**A built up congestion**

**Epididymal retention!**

**My semen is flames,**

**Flagellum is pain!**

**Fuck fate!**

**Earth dies from atomic weight!**

**With a hardened thrust, deep in the core!**

**A seismic tunneling, rhythmic pummeling!**

**Incinerate the molten rock!**

**A rancid genetic CANNON FIRE!**

**Murdering, knew, nothing, OUTCAST!**

**Choke on gas! Kill my sperm!**

**Fate won't lead fast enough!**

**Come coagulating blackness!**

**When can I re-decorate?**

**Save for me the glorious DEATH THREATS!**

**Gasoline pumps through my heart!**

**Poison coursing somewhere down in that place!**

**I feel the anger pulse again,**

**It's been building!**

**It's been building!**

**EXPLODE!**

They entered a slow melodic breakdown, with the singer matching the beat.

**Found my mission!**

**Death ambition!**

**Exploitation!**

**EXPLODE!**

**Short edition!**

**New tradition!**

**Extradition!**

**EXPLODE!**

**Fucking fear is contagious!**

**Go spread my flames so fallacious!**

**Fucking fear is contagious!**

**EXPLODE! EXPLODE!**

The band finished with a flash and a disappearance.

"Not bad!" exclaimed Dempsey. "I need that on iTunes!"

"I what?" asked Gersch.

"iTunes. You know, Apple."

"Oh. We got a lawsuit from them once. For apparently copying their uniforms."

"Fucking trigger happy lawyers."

"You said it American."

"I hate to be a party-shitter" stated Sidney, "But the door's open."

They turned and noted that it was indeed open.

"Alright!" cried Roger. "Let's get some!"

He charged into the building, his pistol raised high.

Dempsey looked at Nikolai and shrugged. "Ah to hell with it."

He threw aside his rifle and pulled out his M1911.

"URA!" he yelled running inside.

**By the way, song is "I ejaculate fire" by Dethklok. It kicks serious ass!**


	6. Chapter 6: Creative Kill

**I hope you're enjoying the additional characters' contribution to this. Hopefully this helps support that.**

They marveled at the massive room before them. It was a foyer that probably was meant to show off the throne, if it was visible. A large barrier prevented it from being seen however. It was an immense pile of rubble, so massive in scale it reached the freaking ceiling.

"Interesting" stated Gersch checking his Colt. It appears he had modified the environment to enhance his game. Very interesting."

"He does that" said Takeo. "Now if it is anything like the last one, we should have some weapons here somewhere."

Then he hit a chalk outline. "Perfect."

He bought the weapon and smiled. It was a Gewher 43.

Roger glanced at the wall and saw an outline. He pressed his palm against it and closed his eyes.

"What are you doing?" asked Nikolai.

The redneck felt very stupid. "Uh, trying to get this thing."

Nikolai demonstrated the correct way to do it. He caught the Sawed-Off Double Barrel and nodded.

Roger did the same and felt the weapon. "Awesome."

"Yeah, I know. Still don't care how it works. Just glad it does."

Sidney snagged a MK-14 along with Dempsey, and Sam and Bryan got Arisaka's.

"So, assembly from all ages eh? I like" stated the Marine hefting his semi-auto.

"Bit interesting to say the least" admitted Sidney.

They heard a booming laugh from deep in the facility. A German laugh.

"Vell done my former friends. Now, if you please, enjoy ze company."

From every corner of the room burst zombies, so many it almost seemed surreal.

"Oil me up and call me fucked!" yelled Roger raising his shotgun.

They tossed their grenades and it at least made a dent.

"Wait, I got an idea" stated Takeo. He looked up and smiled. He raised his rifle and fired upwards.

A giant chandelier smashed into the nearest crowd and took out at least a dozen.

"Smart thinking Tak!" complimented Bryan. He had taken up a habit of calling the samurai that and didn't see the need to stop.

They began to shoot down the chandeliers, raining glass and metal upon the sorry zombies.

The voice returned. "Clever. I appreciate some variety to dis game. Of course in real life just shooting a damn schandelier anywhere doezn't do anything, but too much realizm makez a game rather dull."

The crowd finally died down and Dempsey reloaded his gun. "Anybody thinking we're missing something?"

"What?" asked Gersch.

"Well, directions. Where do we go?"

A large wooden sign appeared against the stone rubble with a large map of the palace.

"Well thank you" stated Dempsey examining it. "Well we got two directions. One leads into this garden, the other goes into a courtyard. Both ways are pretty much equidistant from the end room. Something labeled Observatory."

"No doubt where Richtofen is housing himself" commented Gersch.

"How did you know?" said the voice. "It appearz our Russian cosmonaut iz legitimately intelligent. Vhat a coincidence!"

"I really don't like him" stated Sidney.

Sam draped an arm around her shoulder. "Now you're family."

Roger pulled out a coin. "Heads I go left, tails I go right."

He flipped it and caught it. "Left it is then."

Nikolai gave him a sideways glance. "Did you just flip a coin to decide where'd you go?"

"Yeah. I always flip coins."

The Russian thought about it. "He has luck on his side. I'm going with him."

"He just flipped a damn coin man!" yelled Bryan.

"Yeah. Luck. What do you not get?"

The veteran threw up his hands. "I'm going right, away from you nut-jobs."

"I follow the old-man" said Sidney.

"And I follow her" stated Takeo loading his Gewher 43.

"Ah. Did Takeo make a little girly friend?" taunted Nikolai.

The samurai calmly slashed the loose end of the Russian's sleeve. "Shut up."

"Ok, I'm going with Tak to keep him calm" said Dempsey.

"Then I'll go with Nikolai and co. All good?" spoke the cosmonaut.

"Seems fair" stated Bryan. "Let's hunt some zombies."

They both split, murder on the brains.

**Yep, three chapters at a time. Whatever it takes to finish.**


	7. Chapter 7: Splitter

**Since my time limitations are so tight, I may be publishing chapters daily. I apologize if that seems rushed, but I MUST get this published.**

Bryan walked into the garden, staring in wonder at the beauty. It didn't technically have many plants, due to the hot and dry environment, but it did have some amazing features. There were multiple waterfalls made of stone that somehow made it seem natural. The ceiling was covered in glass and the walls were made of rock.

"Unreal" muttered Sidney.

"It is quite beautiful" agreed Takeo.

Dempsey appreciated the décor as much as he appreciated his shoes. Enough to care only if they became a nuisance. He walked over to a wooden sign and bought the weapon on it.

"Now it becomes good!" he stated holding a MP-7.

Bryan reached a similar sign and snagged the MP5K on it.

"Me gusta" he muttered making a perfect imitation of the meme face.

The Marine stared in wonder at him for a solid ten seconds before he said, "I officially respect you now more than I do anyone else."

"Thank you."

Roger whistled as he entered the courtyard. It was more of an unofficial armory judging by the defensive positions in it. Several large anti-air cannons were placed behind sandbags and several large crates of ammo were stacked around them. Sadly, they were all empty.

"Well that would've been cool" muttered Nikolai discovering the sad news.

"Least I got this!" exclaimed Sam holding a PM-63.

"You and your guns. I am growing concerned" stated Gersch carrying a BAR.

"Well don't be. I just find guns to be a suitable substitute for a male in a sexual relationship."

The cosmonaut was so astonished he couldn't speak. Nikolai clapped him on the back. "Don't worry. We all think the same thing."

"They'll have to wipe you up with a sponge now!" exclaimed Sidney nailed a headshot.

"Good mother of God I think I'm in love" stated Dempsey observing his fellow zombie-slayer.

"Don't judge her by that one statement American" said Takeo calmly reloading his gun. "She is actually quite tender."

"How do you know?"

Takeo glanced away. "Just logic."

"Ha ha! Our cold, heartless samurai has fallen in love! How adorable! Hey, can I be your best man?"

The Imperialist have him a dead-pan glare. "Fuck you."

"Hey, no need to get vicious. It was a legitimate question."

"Please just shut the hell up."

"Fine. Fine. Be like that then."

Bryan glanced back at them. "What are you panty-suckers arguing about? We got more important things to do!"

"Ah blow it out your ass!" yelled Dempsey.

Bryan lifted his gun and fired. The round missed the Marine's ear by a distance no one had a measure small enough for. He growled as he checked the ear.

"Damn arrogant vet. He doesn't remember that I'm a veteran too. And my war was thrice as big as his."

"Be patient with him" said Sidney gently. "He's just angry. Angry at the world really."

"Yeah, well he can join the fucking club."

"Just please don't snap on him. He's very trigger-happy right now."

The Marine looked at her and saw the pleading face she had on. He sighed. "Fine. But if he shoots in my direction, he's going down. Vet or not."

Nikolai roared in joy as he released the triggers on the mounted machine gun he had found. This one did have ammo.

"Kicks more than your mother! Ha! I indicated I slept with your mother!"

Roger turned and popped a head. He and the others were guarding Nikolai's ass as he took on the main group.

"I'm gonna tell my mates back home of this shit!" the redneck yelled shooting the horde of zombies.

"Pow! Right in the kissa!" yelled Sam in a perfect imitation of the line.

"It is quite curious how your head snaps off when I shoot it. I only hit your frontal lobe" wondered Gersch stroking his beard.

Something stood up from the horde. Something tall and thin.

"Die new thing! I don't like change!" yelled Nikolai unloading his gun in its general direction.

The thing burst clean in two and began to run towards him. He kept shooting it and it burst again. Now he had four of these things running at him!

"Fuck you!" he yelled tossing a grenade.

The fragments tore them apart and splattered them into the floor. This time, they didn't move.

"Splitters? God damn it" muttered Roger.

"Splitters?" repeated Nikolai.

"We saw them back in Las Vegas. They split into four before dying. But headshots kill them instantly."

The Russian noted the shaking of his hands and the unsteadiness of his sight. "I'm fucked."


	8. Chapter 8: Two-Fold

**Now time for a change I really hope is in Black Ops 2!**

"And we let the wheels spin!" yelled Dempsey grabbing the Fire Sale power-up.

A Random Box appeared next to him, but it looked different. Instead of one six-foot long box, it had two sections to it.

"Sweet!" yelled the Marine flipping the left latch. "Now we can have two guys spin at the same time! Good thing I didn't use the word 'go' or that'd sound really gay."

It landed on USP .45, which he grudgingly took. "Damn rip off."

Bryan went to the one next to him and activated it. It landed an FN-FAL, which he happily took.

"Good old precision. Never hurts anyone but them."

Sidney and Takeo went next and got a Ballistic Knife and an AA-12. As Takeo reached for his shotgun, the Boston girl stopped him.

He glanced at her. "What?"

"I want it" she said simply.

He sighed and grabbed it. "Take it."

She grinned and snagged it. "Thank you Takeo!" She planted a kiss on his cheek and skipped off, a shotgun in hand.

The samurai was completely stunned at this. Dempsey patted him on the back and smiled. "Now just close in for the kill brother."

"Oh boy, what do I get?" exclaimed Sam watching the weapons toll by. It stopped on a STG-44 and she laughed.

"Good boy. Likes to take things slower" she said grabbing the assault rifle.

"I am not even going to comment on that" stated Gersch who was using the box beside her. His landed on a RPG-7, which he took happily.

"I always wanted to get connected with my heritage."

Nikolai and Roger took their places and spun. The Russian tapped the redneck next to him and said, "Just watch. It's gonna give me a shitty weapon."

It landed on a HK-21 and he squealed in joy. He cuddled it close to his chest and stroked it. "I have never been so happy to be wrong!"

Roger took the weapon he had received, a M2 Flamethrower, with a smile. "I'm gonna make some good old Memphis BBQ right here. Somebody get me some seasoning."

He turned and saw that a new zombie horde had appeared. He calmly hefted the chemical thrower and gripped it. "Then I guess I'll settle with the meat."

"I've been in this room for five seconds and I hate it already!"

They had traveled into the next room and were currently trying to figure out the surroundings while killing zombies.

It was some sort of greenhouse, probably to compensate for the lack of gardens. It was two stories tall and held dozens of plants of one origin: tropical. Since there was plenty of sun, its only real function was to hold in the water.

"Too bad none of these plants are poisonous" noted Bryan.

"Yeah. I learned a pretty nice poison from local Filipinos in my Pacific campaign."

"South Viet's for me."

"Hard to believe it. You're almost 60 and I fought in an earlier war. Time travel is a bitch."

"I wish I understood that."

"Join the club."

Takeo noted that something new was approaching him from the stairs. He pulled out his katana and sliced it across the torso.

Only it just split and kept coming, using its arms/legs to crawl. He sliced both in half, and they began to drag themselves across the floor.

"No more!" he cried stabbing them ferociously in random spots he thought would suffice. It did by the way.

"What was that?!" he yelled to Sidney.

She looked at the corpse. "Shit. We got splitters."

She looked up into his eyes. "Aim for the head, handsome."

He nodded. "I never stopped."

"Drink up bitch!" he yelled tossing the zombie into the pool. It then proceeded to drown right there.

"Well, um. I actually didn't think that'd work. Cool."

They went past the barrier in the courtyard and came to a pool. Why someone built a courtyard next to a pool, no one knew.

"Poolside cookout! I like!" said Roger unleashing his flamethrower. He was clearly enjoying it so far.

"Totally agree! I could use a tan" commented Sam. She was even tempted to strip down and just start getting one. But such behavior in front of three men is rather provocative. Not to mention inappropriate during a zombie attack.

"Nah. Pale suits you" complimented Roger honestly.

She glanced at him sideways. "That was almost a compliment."

"Thank you."

She looked at Gersch. "This guy making any sense to you?"

"Not a word."

"Good. Glad I'm not the only one."

**Yeah, Roger and Sam? Possibly. **


	9. Chapter 9: A Little Monologue

**I apologize for the shortness of the last couple chapters, but a wise man once told me separating them made it easier on the reader.**

Richtofen calmly glanced at the monitors. It seemed they were getting further inside.

"Oh dis iz so much fun!" he exclaimed clapping his hands. "I might just strip naked and run through a valley of flowers. Zhen burn it to ze ground!"

"Wouldn't recommend it mate" stated the singer of his band sipping a Samuel Adams. "We don't have any 'Naked Running' time on our schedule."

"Ah damn. Now, I zhink ve need to get ready for our performance."

"Ah, sorry boss man, but that ain't on the script."

"Vhat! Let me see zhat!"

The singer handed him a sheet of paper, which he read frantically.

"Ugh, come on! No more songs for us? Just zhose shitty easter egg ones? Not fair!"

He crumbled it and tossed it aside. "Zhen vhy have I kept you assholes alive?"

The singer was about to reply, but he stopped. "That is a damn good question."

The bassist nodded. "Yeah. I mean, we're drinking your beer, eating your burgers, which are very good by the way, and we do practically nothing."

"Hmm. Right."

Then he remembered. "Oh yeah! You're all figments of my imagination! I made you up to deal vith ze inevitable loneliness this kind of God complex makes!"

The drummer nodded. "Bet on it mate. And you have been a great man to be based off of."

"Zhank you. Now please go! I must zhink on how to kill zhese ruckabs (jerkoffs). Depart from me!"

They disappeared and he turned back to the computers. "Now, vhat shall I do to you my toys?"

**Yes, his toys. How, provocative.**


	10. Chapter 10: A little abstract

**Election Day. I really hope 12/21/12 happens and we all die. Anyway, continuing!**

"Now it's a party!" yelled Dempsey firing his newest pistol. He was actually beginning to like it, due to the fact he was a complete pro with side arms.

"One, two, three, four, I kill you whores!" he yelled reloading the USP .45.

Bryan burst into laughter at that one. "Seriously? I guess I have to continue it. Five, six, seven, eight, right in your plate!"

The Marine clapped him on the back. "Since nothing really rhymes with twelve, let's stop there."

"Agreed."

Take calmly got a headshot and turned to the two soldiers. "Nine, ten, eleven, twelve, go fuck yourself."

"This should work" stated Nikolai tossing the small container aside.

Roger looked at him questionably. "You sure?"

"Positive. We just need something to lure them in."

Samantha pulled out a knife and pointed it at him. "Well it ain't gonna be me. I can tell you that right now."

"I never said it would be one of us. Now, what can we do?"

Gersch smiled. "I have an idea."

He pulled out a small device, something new.

"My latest prototype. I tried to remake the black hole device, but I made this. A gravity bomb of sorts. Except it pulls everything together instead of outward."

"Perfect" stated the Cossack. "Just wait for the opportune moment."

Zombies began to flood into the poolside, screaming through rotten teeth.

"Wait for it."

They began to descend on the group, their howls becoming more excited by the second.

"Now!" yelled Nikolai.

Gersch threw his device into the pool and pressed a small detonator on his wrist.

It imploded, since no other word really describes it. The zombies were literally tugged into the water, splashing as they did so.

Nikolai calmly lit a lighter and smiled. "As a great man once said: 'Everything burns'."

Then he tossed it into the pool.

The water burst into flames that overwhelmed the living impaired. They screamed in pain as the fire overwhelmed them and stuck to their rotten skin.

"Beautiful" muttered Samantha.

Roger glanced at her. "If you keep having that mindset, I don't think we're going to work out."

"Who said I wanted it to?"

Nikolai laughed. "Burn!"

Takeo opened the door into the next room and whistled. This was a treasure room of sorts, judging by the fact of the contents. Multiple paintings of sentimental and commercial value were laden on the walls, some not even finished. Most of the furniture probably had a gram of gold per square inch or pretty much just made of gold to you who hate math.

"This room is probably worth more than my house" said Sidney examining a particular statue.

"House? Hell this is worth more than my neighborhood" countered Bryan checking out a bust. It was made of solid gold, and had jewels around the neck part.

"Who gives a shit?" asked Dempsey. "Let's just…"

He stopped and looked to his left. There was a treasure chest there, its lid wide open. It had multiple layers of gold objects and jewels, but something caught his eye. It almost seemed to glow amongst the shiny metallic objects.

He shoved some aside and caught another glimpse of it. He shoved his hand into the pile and grabbed it. It felt rough and warm.

Pulling it out, he was rewarded with a solid chunk of 115. A ring went out and he sighed. "God damn it.

"Well, that's weird" stated Gersch.

He examined the doors that separated him from the horse. "These seem to be intact. Curious."

He looked back up at the creature, its eyes bearing into his. "This one seems to be perfectly healthy. His coat is even shined."

"That's not normal" stated Nikolai looked at the horse. "Every animal we ever contacted in my escapades were all dead. Cows, mice, even cats. Except dogs. No, they were hellhounds."

He glared at Sam for extra effect. She raised her hands defensively. "Hey, you were working for Richtofen. What was I supposed to think?"

The Cossack sighed and waved it off. "Whatever. Let's just find a way out of this damn stable."

The room next to the pool was, oddly enough, a stable for horses. It seemed they like having them.

"Why keep horses in the Middle East?"

"Well it isn't just sand you know" pointed out Gersch. "A lot of it is hard ground. Especially here. But these aren't meant for distances. Probably just a brief thrill."

"Makes sense to me" said Roger. "I lived in a city environment, but I kept a dirt bike. Same kinda deal."

"Yeah, but you don't need to feed a dirt bike" countered Sam.

"Point enough. Why are we even arguing about this?"

"No clue" replied Nikolai. "Let's just go."

Then he stopped.

"What the..?"

He picked up the object. It was a rock.

He sniffed it. "Rock."

He gave a swift look left and right, then licked it.

"What the hell are you doing?" yelled Sam. "That's a damn rock!"

"I wanted to see what 115 tasted like! Don't judge me!" shouted the Cossack tossing the rock. It hit the ground and gave off a loud ring.

"Fuck damn it!" proclaimed Nikolai. "We're playing into his freaking hands!"

**The main reason he puts those there Nikolai. About time someone realized it.**


	11. Chapter 11: The Hangover

**If I may endorse something, I think you all should check out the newest Pop Goes Punk Vol 5. It is absolutely amazing, especially the covers of "Call me maybe" and "You didn't have to cut me off". They are kickass! Anyway, let's continue on our action rollercoaster!**

"Oh boy! Now I own two pieces of German innovation! The second is a Mercedes Benz. Love that damn car" said Dempsey holding a MP-40. He had found it in the new room and he was deeply enjoying it.

"Never understood the whole 32 mag thing, but why do I care? Least it ain't like freaking 47 or something."

Takeo was holding a M16 he had managed to snag. He was efficiently getting headshots as he always had.

"Precision and accuracy. Two different things. Both, this weapon has."

"That was almost Yoda talk" pointed out Sidney.

"Not caring, I am."

"Ok mate, now you're scaring me" warned Bryan.

"Just wait. Truly ferocious, I can become."

"Holy fuck man. If you're Yoda, then I'm freaking Anakin" said Dempsey proudly.

"He betrayed his order to follow an old man who probably wouldn't have helped him."

"Yeah, but he was a complete badass!"

"He killed Windu in cold blood."

"Well fuck you!"

Takeo smiled and kept shooting.

"Well, this is the only door" said Nikolai pointing at the door.

Roger shrugged. "Then let's go." He lifted his boot and smashed through it.

"I like the way you think" commented Sam walking through over the jagged ends of the door.

The redneck tipped his hat. "Thank ya ma'am."

"Don't call me ma'am."

"Thank ya Sam."

"That's better."

They entered the room and saw that it was the other end of the foyer. This end had the throne and assorted things. And in the middle of this was a generator.

"Holy crap!" yelled Nikolai. "Shiny thingy!"

He ran over to it and flipped the switch. Three things happened.

In the two corners of the room two vending machiens immediately activated. Next to the throne two gates opened up, revealing further chambers. And finally, the Pack-a-Punch machine next to the generator activated.

"This day just got better" said Gersch inserting his RPG-7. A new one labeled 4APP-AUD came out and he smiled.

"Clever. Using the name as an allusion to ratings. Nice."

This machine was modified just like the box. Except, it had completely changed the appearance. First, it resembled something close to a fridge, about seven feet tall and five feet wide. On both sides were entry points to put your weapon in vertically. It still kept the paint color and the giant ass sign on top.

"I am loving have 8 guys on our team" said Nikolai inserting his Sawed Off that he hadn't wanted to get rid of. It came out as the Snuff Box and he smiled. "About time we got you. I was waiting for a while."

Sam and Roger took their places and gave up their STG-44 and M2 Flamethrower respectively.

"I freaking hope this works" said Roger. "Never tried this before."

"Don't worry. I'll go gentle."

He looked at her. "What?"

The Spatz-447+ came out and she took it. "Hey look! Gun!"

He turned and saw, indeed, his gun was out. He took up the F1W Nitrogen Cooled and smiled. "I like."

"How did you assholes get here first?!" yelled Dempsey appearing from the other side of the room.

"Luck and skill Mr. Tank" stated Gersch calmly.

"It's a damn good thing you said Mr., or I'd be ripping out someone's neck" said the Marine inserting his USP .45. He noted the new design of the Pack-a-Punch like he had been anticipating it.

"Let's see what happens to this pistol."

It came out and he checked the name. "U-5UK. Hmm. Plain and simple. I kinda like it."

Bryan was right behind him, giving his FN-FAL to the machine. He was rewarded with the EPC-WN and he nodded firmly.

"Good solid dependable. All characteristics of me."

Sidney and Takeo came up and the Boston girl happily inserted her AA-12. She kissed Takeo on the cheek again. "Thanks again for the gun."

He didn't respond to that one and simply inserted his Ballistic Knife.

She grabbed him by the chin and glared into his eyes. "You don't ignore someone like me handsome." Then she kissed him on the lips.

Everyone in the room was surprised, except for Nikolai. He was too busy laughing to be surprised.

"I knew it! Ha! You two are getting fucking married! Then merrily fucked! Ha! See what I did there? I kinda reversed those words and…"

He stopped because a size five Nike smashed into the side of his head, and that shut most people the hell up.

Takeo stared in wonder at the female he had shared an intimate moment with, the same one who had just spinning kicked Nikolai in the face.

"I love you" he said grabbed her and pulling her close.

Dempsey rolled his eyes. "Get a fucking room you two!"

"Gladly" said Sidney breaking from lip-lock.

Bryan looked at Takeo for a moment. "I approve of you samurai. Not that I'm her father, I just kinda adopted the role. But she doesn't need taking care of. You let her be independent. I saw you two hang out. You're a good match."

Sam was actually getting quite emotional. She wiped her eyes and stared at her hand. "What the hell!? Is that…a tear?"

Roger examined it. "Yep. That's a tear."

"Fuck you!"

"I'd be honored to."

She punched him and walked away in search of a weapon.

Nikolai rubbed his sore head and noted what was going on around him. Bryan and Takeo were talking with Sidney under the samurai's arm, Roger was trying to apologize profusely with Sam while she beat with a stick, and Dempsey and Gersch were just lying back observing all of this.

"Ugh, what the fuck did I miss?" he groaned.

**A lot Nikolai. A lot.**


	12. Chapter 12: Morning Glory

**Now, this design is not the classic figure 0 or even the [I] like Kino. This is more like an 8. With two points on either end. Just a small explanation.**

"So, now we need to go apart again. That's new" said Dempsey studying both entry ways. They were both hallways, but one had a door leading left and the other had a door leading right.

"I am going with you" announced Nikolai coming over the Marine. "I don't trust Sidney or Takeo to not freaking knock my lights out."

The samurai smiled. He did not have the Boston girl under his arm, but he still looked rather content. "A wise choice Cocksack."

"It's Cossack you dirty, black-hearted Jap!"

Bryan stepped onto the side with Takeo. "I need to keep an eye on these two. Ain't sure I can leave them alone."

"That is a smart choice" joked Sidney slyly.

Gersch joined the three. "Because I won the coin toss, I need to plan their wedding."

Sam went over with Dempsey and crossed her arms. "I lost a fucking coin toss."

Roger laughed and clapped her on the back. "Ya need lessons from me."

"How much?"

He wasn't prepared for such a response. "Uh…um."

She punched him in the arm. "That was a joke stupid."

"Oh, of course. Now I get it."

Gersch looked over at them and sighed. "I can't plan two weddings people. I am only so smart."

Sam nearly exploded when he said that. Only Dempsey and Roger's grip on her kept her from tearing the cosmonaut a new one.

"What the fuck did you say!? I'll rip your fucking balls off you piece of astro-shit!"

The scientist laughed and gestured to his team. "Let's go right."

They walked down the hallway and entered the mystery door.

"Well, that leaves left" said Dempsey still holding Sam. He let her go and glared at her. "You cool now?"

"Yeah. Just a PMS moment."

"I hope it's just a moment. You nearly tore my arm off!"

"I am one tough bitch when I want to."

Roger smiled. "As a great man once said: 'I like a woman who can kick my ass'."

She punched him in the gut. "Wouldn't take me much to kick your country ass. I could do it with one arm."

"That's what she said!" yelled Nikolai.

Once again the Marine and the redneck had to prevent Sam from killing a Russian male.

"I will wipe the floor with your mangy dick!" she screamed trying to break from the two Americans' grip.

Dempsey gave Roger a glance. "We're going be here for a while."

* * *

"So, white tablecloths or red?" asked Gersch jotting notes in a little book.

Takeo looked at him sideways. "You can't be serious."

"Oh, but I am. I helped plan my sister's and my uncle's wedding. And both are happily married even after fifteen years. I shit you not, a good wedding is crucial to a successful marriage."

"Well, uh, red" decided Sidney. Takeo nodded.

"I like red. It is, like a morning dawn."

"Don't go all literal on my samurai. Just pick a damn shade."

"Rose red."

"Simple and sweet. I like it."

Bryan looked at them. "We're surrounded by flesh eating zombies, and you're discussing decorations? Unbelievable."

"There is one thing we haven't decided" admitted Sidney.

"What is that?"

"Could you walk me down the aisle? I don't have a father anymore, and you're the closest one I have."

The veteran felt a tear pool in his eye, but he quickly wiped it. "I'll do it. But who's gonna be the best man?"

"Dempsey."

"Ah. Nice choice. He's a good man, despite the swearing."

Takeo stopped. "I have had such an amazing conversation, I haven't even noticed where we are. Wow."

There were inside a large library, a massive one in fact. The ceiling was almost twenty feet tall and the walls were covered in bookshelves. Despite the ruined state of the entire building, every shelf was filled. There was even a balcony running around the top to allow access to the higher shelves.

"This is incredible" agreed Sidney.

"I could just spend the rest of my life here" admitted Gersch.

He was grabbed from behind and spun around. He was pulled into a zombie's rotting face before it screamed at him.

Then three rounds blew off its head.

Gersch put away his emergency Makarov and sighed. "I think we may just want to keep moving."

* * *

"I fucking love this place!" proclaimed the Marine.

He threw himself into the massive square and bounced straight up and down. "A freaking water bed! This is sick!"

Roger whistled as he examined a billiards table to his left. "Solid gold and mahogany? And I think the balls are made from ivory. This guy was a collector."

Nikolai was currently checking out the mini-bar inside the recreation room. He was looking for only one thing that he couldn't find.

"Whiskey, tequila, gin, tonic, but no fucking vodka!" exclaimed the Russian frantically trying to find his beloved drink. "How the fuck can you call yourself a drinker if you don't have any fucking vodka to mix?! God damn it!"

He finally found a bottle of Ketel One and smiled. "Perfect."

He quickly tossed together a small vodka on ice and took a sip. "Ah, nice. I always thought mixing this shit was a sin on humanity. Turns out I am still right. Even a few years later."

Roger came over and grabbed a bottle of rye whiskey. "Let me show you how to make a drink."

He threw an ounce of the whiskey in a mixing glass with cognac, syrup, curacao, absinthe, and some bitters. He shook that together for a little while then put them in an ice-filled glass. He topped it off with a bit of club soda and placed a lemon rind on the rim. He handed it to Sam.

"Taste, my lady."

She nervously drank it, and then gave a hum of approval. "That's the best cocktail I have ever had! It's so, well, it just fucked with my tongue!"

Dempsey looked up from his water bed. "I heard the words 'fucked' and 'tongue'. Should I be concerned?"

"Nope" said Nikolai calmly.

"Fine by me" said the Marine lying back.

Roger smiled at the German girl. "Now, time for a Red Snapper."

**So, Roger's a bartender? Sam likes drinks. It could work.**


	13. Chapter 13: Appeal to Reason

**Making great strides in this story. But I won't stop now. In the words of a great man: The rape train has no brakes!**

"This kill, pleases Takeo" said Takeo nailing a headshot with his Stakeout he had found in the room. It had a lot more ammo than usual, probably compensation for being such a late weapon.

"Get any closer and I'd have to invite you to my wedding!" yelled Sidney waving her AA-12 like a madman. Or madwoman in this case.

Bryan was reaping headshots like the true pro he was deep inside. "You better be grateful zombies. I'm only half as good as I was in Nam."

Gersch was currently trying out his new rocket launcher, the 4APP-AUD. He lifted it and fired.

Three rockets of awesomeness flew through the air and slammed into the spot he had been aiming. Instantly, all zombies died around that immediate area, and then some.

"That was. Awesome" stated the cosmonaut stunned.

Takeo looked at him and gave a sly grin. "It gets better."

* * *

"Ugh, I feel dizzy!" exclaimed Sam trying to regain her balance. She stumbled and collapsed in Roger's arms.

"Hehe, whoops" she said giggling up at him.

The redneck became a slightly darker shade of red. "Uh, yeah. Whoops."

She leaned in and pressed her forehead into his. "You're really handsome."

"Uh, thank you."

She smiled and licked her lips. "I bet you want me to, don't you?"

Roger gave a nod.

She grinned and leaned in. The redneck leaned in as well, eyes closed.

Then he was on the floor, a large mark on his left cheek.

"Never assume I'm completely hammered" she warned completely stable. "You'll just wake up with some serious blue balls."

Roger was too busy groaning in pain to acknowledge this, but Nikolai still found it hilarious.

"Holy shit that was awesome!" he shouted leaning on the counter.

"No one fucks with me. Ever" she commented nodding firmly.

"Hey Sam!" proclaimed Dempsey from the other room.

She turned and gasped. He was holding a large FG-42.

She snagged it and cuddled it close to her chest. "I never liked the AK guy anyway. You were always my original sweetheart."

Roger stood and wiped the blood from his mouth. "Anybody bother to explain what the fuck just happened?"

"Well, you tried to kiss Sam, she punched you to the floor, and now she has an old lover back" stated Nikolai calmly.

"Oh damn. Who is it?"

"An FG-42. Machine gun. 32 round magazine."

The redneck was confused for a moment before the Cossack whispered something in his ear.

When he was finished, Roger's face had gone completely pale.

"I need a drink" he said walking back to the bar.

* * *

"This is interesting" announced Gersch knee-deep in a novel.

"Really? Who's it by?" asked Sidney.

"Some guy made Stephen King."

"Ugh! Everyone likes him! I prefer the lesser known people. Like Ted Bell or John Flanagan."

"Both of those are pretty famous."

"Yeah, but not as famous as King. Think about it. Go tp any street corner. Ask people, "Hey, ever heard of Stephen King?" They'll be like: "Hell yeah!" Then ask: "Ever heard of Ted Bell" and they'd be like: "Who?"

Gersch shrugged. "You have a point. I still like him. And Ted Bell. Amazing stuff."

Takeo lifted his copy of Shogun. Unlike the rest, he had brought a copy.

"I love this story. Not exactly traditional, but a curious idea nonetheless."

Bryan was reading a small little book he had found recently. It was titled: Lord of the Rings: Return of the King.

"I read this before the movie came out" he stated calmly. "I liked the movie a little more."

"So did I. The movie didn't make Frodo and Sam's relationship look as, well, gay" said Sidney.

"It was written in the 1940's! Being loyal was considered a compliment then. Give Tolkien a break."

"Not complaining! He was a great writer."

"Thank you. My father had a signed copy of all the books."

"Wow. What happened to them?"

"I inherited them. Keep them in a safe in my house. Waterproof and fireproof. Not to mention bulletproof. And buried ten feet underground."

"Wow. They must be worth a lot."

"They are. I could sell them for a couple million minimum."

A zombie climbed up to the small reading parlor and tried to attack Takeo. He calmly shot it in the face while not even looking up.

"Such an interesting book."

* * *

Dempsey examined the room he had discovered. Obviously they really had hit the recreation wing of the palace.

"Now this is fucking sick!" yelled Roger gazing at the objects around him.

The room was the pinnacle of home theaters. There were red velvet seats, a full silver screen, even snack stands.

"Jesus Christ this guy has some sick movies!" exclaimed Dempsey rifling through the collection. "All the Star Wars, the James Bond collection, Lord of the Rings, some foreign shit that looks pretty decent, and, holy mother of God American Pie!"

He lifted the album to indicate it was true. "This prince was pimping this crib!"

Nikolai again noted the bar. Yes there were two bars in adjacent rooms. Why there was such a thing, no one will ever probably know.

"Ah, so this is why the beer is in here" stated the Russian. "Hmm, Samuel Adams. Unlike other American beer, it's not mostly water."

"Hey! I like Bud Light and shit!" defended Dempsey.

"Let me ask you a question. How is having sex on the beach similar to American beer?"

"How?"

"It's fucking close to water."

Roger burst into laughter and began rolling on the floor. "He's right man! I hate to insult my beer, but he's true!"

"I need a Sam right now" stated the Marine.

Nikolai tossed him a black lager. "Drink up."

He calmly smashed the cap into the counter and took a gulp. "Nice and cold. Funny. It only had power like five minutes ago."

Sam took a bottle of Oktoberfest and drank up. "A little late, but who gives a crap?"

"See, this is nice" said Roger lying back on a chair. "Just four people, drinking beer, talking. Why haven't we done this earlier?"

A zombie grabbed him and pulled him out of his chair. Then a bullet sank into the undead figure's forehead.

Sam helped him up and look him dead in the eye. "That's why."

**Nice Sam. Nice.**


	14. Chapter 14: Nine

**Now, I do have to shout out to one review: The scene with Richtofen was actually not based from Spy Kids 3 (If you know the scene, great). However, I am glad I could compare it to something.**

"Wow, they really know how to clear a house" said the singer drinking another gulp of beer.

Richtofen nodded. "Ja. Zhey are very good at dis sort of zhing. I made zhem like zhat anyway."

The drummer angrily handed the bassist fifty bucks. "Damn. How did you know it'd only take them ten minutes to get there?"

"Guitarists' intuition" stated the bassist. "Right Edward."

"Ja!" exclaimed the lead guitarist. He smashed his glass into his and drank three mouthfuls down.

"Zhat vas wunderbar!" he yelled after finally getting some oxygen along with his drink.

"Yeah, I love Yuengling" added the bassist.

The way he pronounced the name annoyed Richtofen extremely. He turned to him and said, "It's pronounced, Yuengling, ze U iz silent."

"Really? I always heard it Yuel-ing."

"Well, it's Yeng-ling. So say it write or I'll kill you."

The bassist smiled and put his face an inch from the doctor's. "You want to kill me! But you won't! Because that'd be a form, of SUICIDE!"

"Schiss! Fine zhen. Now, vhat do you zhink I should do gentlemen?"

The singer thought about it. "Well, they're at your fucking door man. I think it's time you get while the getting's good."

"Vhat?"

"Go. Now."

"Oh. Vell zhen just say zhat. But I feel perhaps a little longer."

The drummer shrugged. "Whatever mate. We don't even exist."

"Damn right. Now, I have a plan to act out gentlemen. My ninth symphony approaches!"

**The ninth symphony. Think Beethoven and you'll probably get the metaphor.**


	15. Chapter 15: Too much luck

**Now, I love being this close to the wire. It's quite exhilarating actually!**

"We've been searching for five minutes, he ain't in here!" yelled Dempsey.

"Keep looking!" urged Gersch. "This is the final room!"

They had finally converged at the observatory and were searching for Richtofen. It contained a huge telescope and a dome over the ceiling that contained a map of the stars. It had dozens of paper notes in file cabinets, drawers, and even piled on desks. They were tossing everything out of the way to find some hidden passage way or door or anything that could be lead to the mad doctor.

"Goddamn it! The only thing we found was Juggernog!" exclaimed Nikolai.

Roger fell backwards as something appeared in front of him. It was a huge slot machine.

"And the Random Perk Machine!" shouted Sam running to it. She pushed Roger aside and pulled the lever.

It gave her a bottle of Tekilla, which she gladly took. "Yeah! I could use some Mexican."

Roger got up and dusted himself off. "That wasn't cool."

"Don't interrupt the driver when she's drinking" calmly stated the German.

The redneck decided to ignore that comment and used the machine. It gave him a bottle of Double Tap, which he liked at the first sip.

"Holy shit this is good!" he yelled looking at the bottle. "It tastes like the malt of God!"

Dempsey and Nikolai joined them and got bottles of Magarita and Speed Cola.

"How can this get better?" asked the American waving the bottle.

Another two sounds appeared and the Pack-a-Punch machine and the Random Box appeared in the room.

"I think it just did" said Nikolai inserting his HK-21 into the PaP.

Gersch went to the Box and flipped the latch. He received a RSASS and smiled.

"A sniper rifle. My area of expertise."

He went over to the PaP and placed it inside. It came back and he noted the differences. It had an ACOG scope on the top and a larger magazine. The firing pin was slightly worn somehow and the trigger looked well-worn.

"GTSMASS? Heh, I get it."

Dempsey managed to get his MP-40 upgraded to the Afterburner and looked at the scenario. "Three utilities at once? Something is going on."

"Doesn't matter to me" commented Bryan using the Box. "As long as this gives me something cool."

It did give him something, something completely new. It looked like, well, nothing that had probably ever been invented. It resembled a Lancer from Gears of War, but silvery and shiny new. It had three barrels at the end, with each one having one of the primary colors. The butt was glowing black and had a huge canister under the sights.

"Well this is cool" said the veteran grabbing the new gun. "It's called the Chimera."

"Like that funky mythology bird-shit?" asked Sidney.

"Think so."

"Suits it. That thing looks like a piece of crap."

He shoved her gently. "Just use the damn box."

She did so and received a PPSh-41.

"Hmm, nice gun" she commented.

"Consider yourself lucky" commented Nikolai. "I am jealous that you wield my country's weapon. But honored that someone of your skill level is using it."

"Thank you. Now get the hell out of my way, I want to get a drink."

She did so and received a bottle of Full Kettle Packet. "Hmm. Good old iced tea." Then she went to the Pack-a-Punch.

Sam joined her and gave up her FG-42. "Well, we've survived. That proves girls are just as good as boys."

They slapped knuckles. "Damn straight" said Sidney. "We can hack it just as well as any of the boys."

Takeo planted a kiss on her cheek, holding a new Mini-Uzi. "The reason why I love you so much."

She planted one on his face as well. "Thank you."

She received her Reaper and switched places.

"Anybody find a melee weapon?" asked the samurai.

Dempsey pulled out a sickle and handed it to him. "Found it a few minutes ago. Still shiny new."

Takeo examined it along with his Krauss Refibrillator. "I like it."

His improved Mini-Uzi came out and he snagged it. The magazine was more than doubled from last time and a new set of sights were on the top. It was labeled Big Daddy.

"Heh, it even got my nickname" commented the samurai.

"I don't think I should comment on that" stated Roger holding his new L86-LSW. He gave it to the machine and rubbed his hands together.

"Wish they had this at my paintball course" he muttered watching the gears turn. "I could've raped some serious ass with a new gun."

"The main reason we like it so much" pointed out Dempsey. "Now, I think we have a pressing matter to attend to."

Takeo turned to him. "What is it?'

The Marine pointed behind him. Nikolai, Bryan, and Gersch were currently holding off various crowds of zombies with their new improved weapons. But since it was a wide-open space, it was relatively difficult to do.

"Oh. Well then. Uh, let's go then."

Bryan lifted his Chimera and checked the barrel. "Red. Well let's see what that does."

He fired it and was nearly blown off his feet at the recoil. A massive pillar of fire emitted from the barrel and sprayed in an enormous radius around him. He opened the chamber and slammed in a second tank.

"Uh, that was badass, but what does blue do?"

He switched it to the appropriate barrel and fired.

A small blue ball flew over the zombies' heads and smashed into the floor. It sprayed across the floor and encased every zombie in ten feet solid.

"Cool" he admitted firing two more before reloading. "And finally, yellow."

He twirled it and aimed carefully.

A chain of lightning spewed from his gun and arced to a distance of ten feet. He twirled his body and the lightning held fast, following him like a chain. Once a zombie was under its wrath for two seconds, it died.

"AWESOME!" he yelled slamming in a third drum.

"I have seen some gnarly shit man" said Dempsey joining him back on the firing line, "but that tops them all. Except maybe the Thundergun. That thing was sick."

Nikolai lifted said weapon. "You called?"

"You replaced your Snuff Box?"

"This is twice as good. And now it's called the Zeus Cannon for awesomeness's sake."

He raised it to his shoulder and fired. A massive blast of air erupted from his gun and pushed the mob away from them.

"FUS RO DAH motherfucker!" proclaimed the Cossack.

Sam burst into laughter at that one. "I LOVE that game!"

Roger looked over at her. "I love you."

"What? Just because I play video games?"

"It helped."

She punched his arm. "I could Shout circles around you."

"If I understood even a word of that, I'd comment" said Bryan switching to his EPC WN.

"I feel the same way" agreed Takeo.

"Get in the times man!" exclaimed Dempsey. "Even I know what the hell Skyrim is!"

"I think I should just let you guys talk nonsense until things start making sense" calmly stated Gersch.

"You'll be waiting for a while mate."

**I agree Dempsey. Things stopped making sense a long time ago.**


	16. Chapter 16: Drag Me Down

**Now, time for my last easter egg song. Hopefully forever since they're exhausting to write.**

"Let's get some shit rolling!" cried Dempsey. He pulled the switch and smiled.

Two turret guns to his left and right lifted from their crevices and came to life. They then assessed the current situation and began killing zombies.

"Now it gets fun" stated Roger firing his new LW&ORDR machine gun. He was slowly falling in love with it the more he fired it.

Gersch was holding his GTSMASS like a new child. The main reason being: It was a fully automatic sniper rifle.

"If making love to an inanimate object is a sin, I will gladly descend to the seven rings of Hell."

Nikolai burst into laughter. "Maybe you'll see me there. Burning for what I did to my wives."

"Probably."

"I'll be running the damn show-biz" added Sam.

"Can I help you run it?" asked Roger.

"You know, I need a partner. Why not?"

"Awesome. See you at eight."

Sidney looked at them. "I always knew you two would get together."

"Shut the fuck up!" yelled the German girl.

"I don't damage your car, so please don't yell at my wife" warned Takeo.

"Oh, oh! You guys were serious about that! Damn, well, good luck to you both."

Nikolai nodded. "Just don't let her interrupt anything you would regret losing. Like drinking."

"I don't drink Cocksack."

"First off, Cossack you Jap. Second, you will probably start once you marry and after the first anniversary."

"Doubtful" said the samurai draping his arm around his lover. "She's all the drug I need."

"That's a lyric" pointed out Sidney.

"Really?"

"Yeah. Don't know from where."

"Hmm. Damn it."

She gave him a peck on the cheek. "It's cool. Just write some more poetry for compensation."

"How about you two cancel the romantics and start killing zombies?" proposed Dempsey gesturing to the crowds around them.

"Gladly American."

They resumed their previous activities when Sam noticed something.

"Oh! What do we get today?" she said grabbing a glowing rock. A final ring went out and then, something new happened.

It opened with a piano, ringing a slow tone, more sad then creepy. It was deliberate, depressing, and didn't sound like anything before.

"Wow. New territory" observed Takeo.

"This shit normal?" asked Roger.

"Yep."

Then someone began to sing. Not the male like the last times, but the original female. She sounded older, but still just as hypnotizing.

_How can you gaze into my empty eyes?_

_Leading you into the hole where I once was born_

_Lacking everything, my soul is wandering in dark._

_Until you set my spirit free from ME!_

At this guitars and drums in the background roared in unison as a new person entered the scene. He was the male singer, his voice no less angry or rough.

**RELEASE ME!**

_Break these chains from my frame._

**I CAN'T BE FREE!**

_Free my soul inside._

**SAVE ME!**

_Do the deed and SAVE YOURSELF!_

**DON'T HOLD BACK!**

_This is the only way._

**I DON'T WANT THIS!**

_This is your destiny._

**SAVE YOURSELF!**

_Kill me and save me FROM MYSELF!_

Dempsey nodded his head firmly. "I can respect this. A new idea with both singers. I like it."

As if in response, the guitars let loose a second torrent before settling into a slow drawl for the female to continue.

_I've seen what I've become._

_And I'm ashamed of it all._

_This breath of life is gone._

_All that's left is ME!_

**RELEASE ME!**

_Break these chains from my frame._

**I CAN'T BE FREE!**

_Free my soul inside._

**SAVE ME!**

_Do the deed and SAVE YOURSELF!_

**DON'T HOLD BACK!**

_This is the only way._

**I DON'T WANT THIS!**

_This is your destiny._

**SAVE YOURSELF!**

_Kill me and save me FROM MYSELF!_

Then the male stepped up to the plate and roared as loud as he could:

**DRAG ME DOWN!**

_I'VE BECOME WHAT I HATED!_

**DRAG ME DOWN!**

_DEAD INSIDE, I FEEL NOTHING!_

_I DESERVE WHAT HAS COME TO ME!_

_I AM DEAD AMONG THE LIVING!_

A short course of mild guitar-play later and the male continued:

**ALL THIS TIME I'VE BEEN DEAD ON THE INSIDE!**

**IF ONLY I SAW WHAT WAS RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!**

I've been sinning a thousand years it seems.

Now time to be atoned for them all.

**WITHOUT HEART, WITHOUT SOUL, WITHOUT THOUGHT!**

**PLEASE LET ME DOWN!**

**FOR I KNOW THERE'S NOTHING MORE!**

DRAG ME DOWN!

**RELEASE ME!**

_Break these chains from my frame._

**I CAN'T BE FREE!**

_Free my soul inside._

**SAVE ME!**

_Do the deed and SAVE YOURSELF!_

**DON'T HOLD BACK!**

_This is the only way._

**I DON'T WANT THIS!**

_This is your destiny._

**SAVE YOURSELF!**

_Kill me and save me FROM MYSELF!_

**DRAG ME DOWN!**

_I'VE BECOME WHAT I HATED!_

**DRAG ME DOWN!**

It ended with the same steady piano piece that left it feeling completely creepy and sad.

"That. Was. Oh my God" said Sam sitting down. The turrets were still flashing red and keeping the zombies at bay for the moment, so she was safe.

"That was amazing. I, I know what that was based off, and wow."

"Zhank you. It took a little effort."

They all turned and saw someone else was standing alongside them. He was very familiar to them by now.

"Fucker" muttered Dempsey firing his Afterburner. Richtofen merely flicked his arm and the bullets flew away from him.

"Seriously American? Bullets? You really need to get out ov ze Stone Age."

"What the fuck do you want?" asked Roger. He had become familiar with him before.

"Vell, to congratulate you."

They were all stunned at this until he explained it further. "You have gotten farther zhen I have ever predicted. I thought you dumb shits vould've died a long time ago, but no! You surprised me! Dis has been ze most enjoyable game I have ever played, ever! So, zhank you."

He adjusted the jacket of his uniform. "Now, I do believe you are here to kill me."

He spread his arms. "So go ahead. Try it."

**OH SHIT CLIFFHANFER!**


	17. Chapter 17: Wrestle-mania

**So, after that cliffhanger, I felt bad and decided to give you the rest the next day. So yeah.**

Dempsey rolled his shoulders and cracked his neck. "Gladly."

He swung and Richtofen easily ducked under it. Pushing the Marine aside, he smiled as his opponent got more frustrated. "Come on American. Use some ov your obviously superior training to fight me. Come on!"

The Marine pulled out a knife and began slashing wildly with it, prompting Richtofen to take steps backwards. The German laughed and said, "Vhat are you going to do? Cut me vith your butter knife?"

Suddenly, something invaded the space between his chest and back. He looked down at the blade that had appeared in his ribs.

"Mister Takeo, it appears you have arrived" he noted without the slightest expression of pain on his face. "Now it gets serious."

Then he disappeared in a flash.

"Shit" muttered the samurai. "Where did he go?"

"Up here" said the ethereal doctor.

They looked and saw he was leaning on an overhanging support for the dome.

"Vell, it appears I know have a height advantage. Vhat vill you do?" taunted the Nazi.

Then a massive wooden board smashed into his head and sent him falling to the ground.

Nikolai ran from his hidden position, and correctly guessing where Richtofen would land, prepared himself for the German.

Richtofen landed and began throwing punches almost before he had even recovered. The Cossack blocked them with effort, since the Nazi was very quick despite his age.

"I offered you ze chance to aid me!" yelled the doctor. "I vould've given you half of ze conquests! I zhought you vere my friend!"

Then Nikolai grabbed a punch mid-air and looked the German in the eyes. "I was."

The Russian gripped Richtofen's hair and fell onto his knees on the floor. This sent the German's face straight into the metal, leading to a loud crunching sound and an explosion of blood.

Nikolai stood above him and grabbed a nearby chunk of pipe. He raised it high and thrust it clean through the Nazi's skull, into the floor.

"Bitch" he muttered wiping the blood from his face.

He turned to his comrades. "I think I got him."

"Not exactly Cossack."

The Russian turned before a bloody pipe smashed into his nose. He groaned in pain and fell to the ground.

Richtofen groaned as he wiped the gore from his face. "Bloody regeneration. Works like a charm, but hurts like a motherfucker!"

He dropped the pipe. "Well, come on! Let's see what any of you have!"

Dempsey walked over to the doctor, fists clenched. "I ain't gonna back down here. Or anywhere Richtofen! I'm gonna save the world, kick your slimy ass, and take names. So, you better bring it."

The German laughed. "Your banter was always entertaining American. Even if it made fun of me. Fine then. Let us get started."

They ran to each other and began smashing each other with fists and elbows. When one landed a good blow, the other quickly countered. Seeing an opening, Dempsey grabbed Richtofen's wrist and smashed his arm down into the doctor's forearm.

The Nazi screamed in pain as he felt both the radius and ulna bones break and punch through the skin. He may have been able to regenerate, but wounds still hurt like crap.

Dempsey quickly climbed a ladder to the balcony above them and glared down at the doctor. "Come on Doc! You got more than this!"

The Richtofen vanished and appeared right behind him. "Boo."

Dempsey smiled and grabbed Richtofen by the shoulder. "Never thought you'd try it. Thank you for doing so."

Then he tossed Richtofen off the balcony.

The doctor landed in a pile of equipment. He shook the daze from his head and stood. "You can't beat me! I am more powerful then all of you combined!"

Takeo began to breathe heavily. These tactics were not working. Then he got an idea.

"Nikolai!' he exclaimed to the Russian.

The Cossack came over. "You have a plan?"

"Yes, but your part is crucial."

"I have an important bit? Oh shit that might not be such a good idea."

"Your opinion is irrelevant. Me and the American must distract him."

"Fine. Tell me the plan."

He did and the Russian's eyes widened. "That's brilliant."

"Thank you. Now go!"

Takeo stood and lifted his Big Daddy. But instead of shooting the doctor he began riddling the glass dome above them.

Blinding light flooded into the room and Richtofen swore loudly. "Ah piss! God damn you all!"

Dempsey then appeared in the glare, smashing his fist into Ricthofen's face. "Surprise bitch!

The doctor quickly recovered and threw up a spinning kick. It impacted Dempsey in the side of the head and sent him to the ground.

Richtofen grabbed him and looked into his eyes. "Face it American, but I am more powerful than any of you!"

He felt cold steel press into his neck and looked at the knife the American had around his neck.

He flashed away and stood all the way at the three-story balcony. "What new surprise do you have for me?"

Then Nikolai grabbed him by the waist and hoisted him off the walk-way.

"This" stated the Russian twirling him so the German was upside down. Then he leaped off the balcony, the Nazi still in his arms.

"Piledriver!" exclaimed the Cossack flying through the air. He then slammed into the ground, Richtofen's head taking the blunt of the impact.

He stood and observed the German fall flat. He was still breathing, and knew he would be getting back up.

Then he saw Takeo jump from the roof of the building, with the skill and grace of a ninja.

With a massive five-foot pipe in his hands.

The samurai slammed the rod into Richtofen's back, penetrating clean through it and pinning him to the floor. Then he gestured to Nikolai. "Now!"

The Russian handed him a set of wires, which he quickly wrapped around the pipe. Once he was finished, he yelled, "Get the switch!"

Nikolai ran over to the generator, which was turned off, and turned it back on.

The wires sparked and sent the doctor's body into jitters. It began to burn, skin peeling and cloth disintegrating.

Dempsey smiled and grabbed a set of controls to his left. A few button presses later and he observed the results.

The telescope moved over to Richtofen's position, the small end pointed directly on top of him. With the larger end pointed at the sun.

This sent a solid pillar of head straight into the German, boiling the blood rising from his wounds and sizzling his eyes.

Then he exploded, turning into ash instantly.

"Finally" said Sam standing from her hidden position. "The fucker's dead."

"Not exactly child."

They turned in horror and saw Richtofen was standing on the rim of the dome, not even looking harmed. "Zhat vas a clone of mine. I am very impressed. He had ze exact same strengths I did. Well, tatty-bye. I have a chopper to catch."

Dempsey roared, "We'll fucking find you, you slimy piece of Third Reich shit! I'll rip out your fucking eyes and pulled your brains through the sockets!"

"My oh my, so violent" stated the German. If you want to know, we're heading east. Chase me. Go ahead."

Dempsey turned to his comrades. "To the stables!"

**I bet you all can figure out what that means.**


	18. Chapter 18: Four words (To choke upon)

**Yep, I added horses. Well if BO2 is going to as well I might as well too, right?**

* * *

The three original slayers ran into the stables and quickly grabbed saddles.

"I fucking hate horses" said Nikolai throwing a leather seat onto an older horse, "But I hate him more."

"My point exactly" agreed Takeo. "But I know how to ride one."

Dempsey got up on his and pulled out his U-SUK. He had long figured out what it could do and liked it. A pistol that exploded like a grenade when reloaded was pretty cool.

"Wait!" cried Gersch. He lifted his 4APP-AUD. "Take it. Show no mercy."

"Never planned to" said the Marine grabbed the rocket launcher. "Nikolai, I need you to take the shots. Get on my horse."

"Why?"

"Because I can ride twice as good as you. And you are already unsteady, so throwing in a horse might actually make your aim better."

The Russian thought about it. "That's actually kinda smart."

"Thank you. Now get on!"

The Cossack jumped onto the horse, which barely flinched with two passengers on its back. Obviously it was used to some heavy riders.

Takeo pulled out his Big Daddy and looked affectionately at Sidney. "I will be back my love. Do not worry."

She punched him in the arm. "Go get him."

He nodded. "Let us go."

Bryan threw open the doors of the stable and nodded at them. "Come back in one piece. And bring him back in pieces."

"Gladly" stated Dempsey. He cracked the reins and the horse flew outside. Takeo followed closely behind him, holding his SMG one-handed.

They looked up and saw the chopper Richtofen had mentioned flying above them. It was huge, having a large arsenal of missiles and various machine guns attached to it.

"Holy mother of Rasputin!" exclaimed Nikolai. "I don't even know how I could miss that!"

"Don't shoot yet!" yelled Dempsey. "We're too close to the town."

They turned a corner and leaped over a set of sandbags. A bunch oh bullets flew around them and Takeo fired back.

"Damn Jihadists" he muttered reloading.

They raced past a battalion of Americans, who stared at them in wonder. Dempsey winked and kept riding.

"We're almost out of the city!" warned the Marine. "Let's get him!"

They leaped over the ruins of the wall and entered the desert. The chopper was well ahead of them, but now there was only open ground between them.

"Wait Nikolai!"

"Right!"

The distance began to close and the Russian started to take aim.

"Tell me when!"

Dempsey glared ahead and whipped the reins.

"Now! Shoot!"

The Cossack pulled the trigger and three rockets flew from the launcher. The first sailed clear of the chopper, but the other two smashed into the main body and detonated.

"Yeah!" yelled Dempsey.

Then the chopper began to spiral downward and shooting rockets in every direction. Including their direction.

"Shit!" exclaimed the Marine trying to dodge the missiles. One slammed to the ground in front of him and made him and Nikolai fly into air. Then all went black when he smashed into the dirt.

* * *

Dempsey woke up, dizzy as crap. The chopper was a flaming wreck before him, but he couldn't see Nikolai or Takeo. He got up on unsteady legs and began to walk to the crash site.

He saw something stumble from the wreck, something wearing a uniform. Richtofen.

For once, he didn't look normal. His eyes were no longer glowing blue and his hair was beginning to gray. He had a large gash under his left eye and he held a bloody arm.

He looked up at the American and snarled. "You."

He walked over to Dempsey and punched him in the face. This sent the Marine to the ground and Richtofen grabbed him by the lapels.

"You ruin everything! All dis, gone! Years of planning, all down ze shitter! You uncultured, American swine!"

He punched Tank in the face and threw him to the ground. "Now I'm going to sit back and enjoy beating you to death. Just like I alvayz envisioned."

Then Takeo came up, swinging his katana.

Richtofen ducked and smashed the samurai's arm with his fist. This made him release the katana, and the German kicked him in the stomach.

"Pathetic varrior!" he yelled slamming his foot into the Imperial's jaw.

Takeo landed on the ground, groaning.

Richtofen smiled and threw out his arms. "Come on! Vho else vants to fuck vith me?"

Two strong arms wrapped around his chest and began to tighten. Three audible cracks were heard and Richtofen's lips splattered blood on his shirt.

"Nikolai, my old friend" he said through broken ribs. He grabbed the Russian behind him and flipped him over his head. A quick knee to the face rendered him unconscious.

The doctor looked at the poor assembly before him. "All of you, my closest comrades. I offered you ze chance to aid me, but you refused. Zhat vas your own undoing. Now, I know who I vill kill first."

Richtofen walked over to Dempsey and began to choke him. The American desperately tried to loosen his grip, but couldn't.

"Heh, pathetic. It really iz. You always said zhat you could take me in a fight American. Now look at you. So defeated and broken you can't even speak."

The Marine began to run out of air. He attempted to speak, but no words came out.

The German was extremely curious. "Come on, vhat iz it?" He loosened his grip slightly and leaned in close to the American.

Dempsey smiled and spoke four words:

"I got your gun."

Richtofen felt the Luger before it went off. He stopped and stared into the eyes of the American. "How..?"

Then he was thrown off him and lied bleeding on the ground.

Dempsey stood, wiping the blood from his face. He looked at the doctor, who now had three holes in his chest. He raised the Luger.

"Too quick for you" he said releasing one more round.

Richtofen sank, a large hole now in the center of his palm. His eyes grew dark and his breathing stopped.

"Rest in peace asshole" muttered Dempsey throwing the gun away.

He walked over to Takeo. "Tak?! You alright man?"

The samurai stood and wiped the blood from his mouth. "Yes. I am alright. Check on Nikolai though."

They went over to the Russian and saw he was still breathing. He got up and dusted himself off.

"Did you..?" he began to ask. Dempsey nodded.

"Thank God" stated Takeo. "He is dead."

"Yeah" said the Marine.

Nikolai looked around. "Now what?"

Dempsey sighed. He had lost two teeth, had at least one broken rib, and he hadn't slept in three days.

"Let's get a drink."

"Yes" agreed Takeo. "A drink sounds good."

"Thought you'd never ask American."

**That is right ladies and gentlemen! The story is done! It's been a hell of a ride here, but now it's finished. I would like to shout out to all the fans who encouraged me to write this and make it the story it is today! Blaze, Violent, BulletBliss115 (Sorry, don't do leet speak), Wouldyoukindly97, Coolguyforever, Turret, SLY 123, Exo the Boss, and last but certainly not least my Editor! You have all helped me become as popular as I am and I appreciate it! I don't know what I'll be working on next, but I hope you will all come to support it! Live long and prosper! **


	19. Not a Chapter

**If you are reading this, then you have probably noticed this is not an epilogue. You are correct. This story is indeed finished. However, I put this page in to discuss something. I do not know what to write at the moment. I have assembled a list of work here for your opinion on which I should do next. Your opinion is greatly appreciated and I hope you enjoy what I do work on.**

* * *

**Ways of the Dragonborn (Skyrim): Ten different Dragonborn exist in this universe. All the races have one person who is representing for them. How they defeat Alduin and save the world, has remained to be determined.**

**Only Hope Remained (Bioshock): In 1973, a group of American Special Forces was sent to investigate a mysterious signal originating in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean. It was believed that it was an intercepted Russian relay that was planning on striking on the American mainland. They were wrong.**

**Where the Shadows lie (Naruto): Kabuto has been a Genin for a long time. He has failed the Chunin Exam on multiple occasions. Only one has really stood out.**


	20. Not a Chapter Again

**I am posting this to indicate the new series, the Ways of the Dragonborn, is published! I will go in sequences of whatever the fuck I feel like because I don't have to finish it in a year. So the first two are The Professional and The Genius. Good luck figuring out!**

**Oh, and a message to Blaze: Since the name Blaze is a noun and technically not a real name, I won't be using it. However, you will like the Nord once he comes up. I guarantee it.**


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